first post

ok i guess this is my first post on here. have to admitt i feel like a complete and utter twat but here goes. i want to talk about something in my life that i cant talk about with people face to face. i found out a couple of weeks ago my first real boyfriend had died. he took a overdose and died before anyone could get to him. the worst thing is, we had just started talking again. you see he had to move to france a couple of years ago for a reason i'm not going to get into. this pissed me off so much a deleted his number i got rid of any trace of him i had which included photo's so i dont even have that reminder of him. all i have of him is a necklace he gave me for my birthday just before he left for france. so yeah you think thats bad enough right. well it gets worse. his parents (who never liked me in the first place) decided to ring me the other week and tell me that it was my fault he died. apparently he started getting depressed after he moved, and it was apparently my fault they made him move country. they told me that he got worse after i started texting him again, so as you could imagine that made me feel bloody brilliant.

all this is happening and gues who i have to talk to, my phyco best friend who delights in winding me up and making this whole thing ten times worse for me. he offers me the drink and yes drugs (i didnt acept the drugs before you start).

so yeah kinda heavy for a first entry but you know.

thanks for reading

onyx

xoxo